A Note From The Editor...February 2003

We live in a society that says, "The more you do, the more successful you are."  Blame it on the Puritan Work Ethic.  We rush to get our family ready in the morning, rush to work, rush to get our job done so that we can rush home and go to soccer practice (Girl Scouts, skating practice, business meetings, dinners with friends, you name it).

Thousands, millions, of people are unhappy with their lives.  They feel their life lacks meaning and purpose.  They want more in their life.  Maybe they want to start their own business, or start a family.  Some want to be more involved with their church. Others simply want more time to read a good book.  Many are searching for passion and purpose in their lives -- the reason they were put on Earth.

It's hard to find time to listen to that quiet inner voice when you're life is completely full.  Instead of adding more things to your life in order to find fulfillment, consider this -- what are you willing to get rid of?

Until you create room in your life where the quiet voice of Spirit can dwell, your life will feel empty and meaningless.  Until you create a life that's not completely filled to the brim, how can you attract something new into it?

Back in the early 90's, after a happy single life, I decided that I was ready for a more serious, long-term relationship.  My life, however, was incredibly full already - a full-time day job, a part-time job as a wedding photographer (every weekend!), friends, family, craft projects, devouring fiction books nightly, and four cats.  My apartment -- and my life -- was jam-packed and overflowing.

I decided to look for a house.  I didn't look for a small house for one person.  I looked for a large house, at least 3 bedrooms, and enough physical space for 2 people to live comfortably.  I cut back on my wedding photography schedule.  I cut back on my volunteer work, and I cut back on friendships where I was doing all the work to keep the friendship alive.  I created space in my life, physically, emotionally and spiritually, for a special relationship to enter.  Within one year of buying my new home and changing my life, I met my husband-to-be.  Coincidence?  I think not!

So, consider this: If you have something special you'd like to add to your life, if you would like to discover your purpose and passion in life, what can you let go of in order to create the physical and emotional space for this new life?

Peace,

Karyn 

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--Vince Poscente

If someone listens, or stretches out a hand, or whispers a word of encouragement, or attempts to understand a lonely person, extraordinary things begin to happen.

--Loretta Girzartis

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--Bertrand Russell

Your Face Value

by Steve Goodier

"But the poor man is not responsible for his face," his advisor insisted.

"Every man over forty is responsible for his face," Lincoln replied, and the prospect was considered no more.

Lincoln, of course, was referring to the man’s expression and disposition rather than his features. A face conveys the thoughts and attitudes nurtured in a mind. We are responsible for how we will "face" each day.

One woman reported that she had just paid for some purchases when she heard the cashier say something. Not understanding, she asked her to repeat it. "I said have a happy day," the cashier snapped. "Are you deaf?" Here is a person who seems to be unaware of how she is facing others.

Earl Nightingale put it like this: "Our attitude is something we can control. We can establish our attitude each morning when we start our day. In fact, we do just that whether we realize it or not."

You are already choosing your attitudes every day. Your ultimate happiness or misery depends as much on your disposition as on your circumstances.

Face the day with hope and confidence, generosity and love, and you’ll find yourself choosing to be happy. And you may be surprised at how much others like your face!

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--John Evelyn

Learning is about more than simply acquiring new knowledge and insights; it is also crucial to unlearn old knowledge that has outlive its relevance. Thus, forgetting is probably at least as important as learning.

--Gary Ryan Blair

Hold A Valentine's Day Rehearsal To Celebrate Your Loved Ones

Newlyweds daydream about the perfect evening. Old-timers try to think of something new to surprise their lifelong partner. Children cut construction-paper hearts. Everyone plans ways to show the special person in their life just how much they care.

This year, how about planning the event together? Get your special someone, or someones, together in one room and brainstorm ways you'd like to celebrate your relationship. First, take time away from your daily routine to reflect on each other, on the roles you all play in each other's lives, and on the things you love most about each other. Think of it as a Valentine's Day dress rehearsal.

Then, pass out some construction-paper hearts and colorful pens. Have each person in the room write down three things he or she appreciates about the others. If there are only two of you, this won't take long. If you are an entire family, the more the merrier.

Take your time. Then have each person pull their chair up to the person they've written about and read it aloud. Your messages can be serious or hilarious, but they must be true and heart-felt.

After everyone's had a turn, you've established how special your relationships are. Now it's time to plan how you will celebrate them. Again, pass out paper and pens and have each person write one way they'd like to celebrate Valentine's Day together.

Your answers can be anything, like "Cook a home-made meal together and get out the fine china." "Dance to our wedding song." "Go together as a family to a movie theater, instead of just popping in a video at home." "Pull on some warm clothes and head outside to take in the night sky. See who can identify the most stars." Or "Call Great-Grandma and talk about what it was like when we were all little kids visiting her house." Encourage everyone to write what would make the day special for them.

Now, put all the ideas in a bag and shake it up. Designate someone to reach in and pull a Valentine's Day plan out. If there are two of you, you might designate the person who made the first invitation to meet. If you are with your whole family, you might give the honors to the youngest child. Then, read the Valentine's Day plan that was picked. This is the one you will follow. Put it up where everyone can read it and brainstorm ways to follow the plan and make it even better. While you're at it, read the rest of the plans in the bag; see if you can incorporate any of them as well.

When you are done, enjoy some refreshments. You are likely to feel a renewed appreciation for your special relationship(s) and can look forward to a wonderful Valentine's Day together.

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--Thomas Merton

Forgiveness is the final form of love.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

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